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What is "Tolerate It" by Taylor Swift About? A Deep Dive into the Song's Meaning

Alex KataevbyAlex Kataev·Aug 24, 2024
In Short

Unrequited love and feeling underappreciated in a relationship. The song depicts a person desperately seeking affection from a partner who merely tolerates their efforts, exploring themes of emotional imbalance and one-sided devotion.

Song meaning and themes

  • Central theme: The pain and emotional toll of feeling tolerated rather than loved in a relationship
  • Inspiration: Based on the book "Rebecca" by Daphne du Maurier, reflecting a character's experience of being undervalued by her husband
  • Relationship dynamics: Portrays a strained relationship with an imbalanced power dynamic
  • Protagonist's perspective: Depicts someone desperately seeking love and acknowledgment from an indifferent partner
  • Emotional state: Explores feelings of insignificance, desperation, and unrequited love

Lyrical content

  • Key phrase: "I know my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it" - encapsulates the song's core message
  • Protagonist's actions:
    • Waits by the door like a child
    • Uses their best colors for the partner's portrait
    • Lays the table with fancy things
    • Greets the partner with a hero's welcome
  • Partner's response: Tolerates the protagonist's love instead of celebrating it
  • Metaphorical imagery: Describes the protagonist as a mural, temple, and sky, emphasizing their vulnerability

Musical and production elements

  • Genre: Slow piano ballad with an odd time signature
  • Instrumentation: Features bass guitar, cello, violin, synth beats, and recurring keyboard chord patterns
  • Vocal performance: Swift employs her upper register as the protagonist realizes their power to leave the relationship

Critical reception

  • Praise: Critics lauded the song for its vulnerable songwriting and engaging production
  • Comparisons:
    • Likened to a "disenchanted wife" character in The Smiths' song "Asleep" (1985)
    • Compared to 1970s Carole King songs

Album context

  • Track placement: Fifth track on Swift's ninth studio album "Evermore", released on December 11, 2020
  • Significance: Chosen as track 5 due to its emotional depth and specific kind of hurt it conveys